Today it rained. And I prayed and cried and sweat and twisted from my body all the stagnant pieces of a story I hold precious. It’s a childs story. My child. The story of her making and highlights from each year of her life.
It’s a bit comical, now after it’s telling, to see how much I fretted over getting this story right. After all, it was told to a group of 3-5 year olds. But, it was important to me for 2 reasons. Lilith’s father Loved her very much. She will never recieve any of the special things he would have done for her to honor her in her life. I never want her to lack for these things. Even though I know this is futile, I can’t help but overachieve. The other reason I fretted so much over this is because it’s impossible to tell the story of her life and not mention that her father has died… to a group of 3-5 year olds. How do I do this and not make her lifes story a SAD one?
At noon today, my sweet girl was honored in a birthday ceremony at her school. It’s not her birthday. Her birthday was in August, but we were in California then, and now that we’re back, her teachers insisted her life be celebrated in this way. They lit candles, sang songs, and told stories of star beings and angels choosing to leave heaven to walk the Earth with the parents of their choosing. They laid down rainbow fabric and let Lilith walk across the rainbow to me. Her teacher presented her with flowers and a handmade crown, felted and sewn. She and I sat in front of the class, and I told her story with her arms wrapped around me, her face beaming with pride:
* * *
Once upon a time there was a man and a woman who Loved each other very much.
They flew across the world to celebrate their Love for each other. They slept on houses that sat right on top of the Ocean. One night, Momma Ocean planted a magical little pearl inside of the womans belly, offering her the most beautiful gift, making her a Mommy. As this baby grew inside her belly, the Mommy wondered if the baby would be a boy or a girl, but the Daddy did not wonder. He always knew it was a girl, and he was right!
Before the baby girl was born, the Mommy and Daddy thought about what they should call the child. They made a list of their favorite names. The Daddy really liked the name Aya. Mommy liked the name Willow… But one night, while the mommy and daddy were sleeping, the little girls Animal Spirit guide came to them in their dreams and asked them, “Please name this child after me. Her name should be Lilith.” They woke up the next morning and just couldn’t believe that they had the same dream! They threw away their lists. The child would be called Lilith, after her Owl guide. At her birth, her full name was Lilith Ember Wesolowski.
Lilith was born at home, next to a river in the woods, after a long but beautiful labor. Her daddy, auntie, grandma, and grandpa were all there to welcome her with her midwives. She was surrounded with Love.
When she was 1, she was already talking.
When she was 2, she was walking and stealing tomatoes from the garden.
When she was 3, she loved to dance and have pillow fights with her Daddy, and to sing and make art with her Mommy, but something very sad happened this year. Her Daddy left his body to become Spirit, and he died. It was the saddest thing, but one of the most incredible gifts her Daddy gave her, was a big, strong heart.
When she was 4, she broke her arm and learned an important lesson. After her broken arm was healed, her doctor told her that it was stronger than the arm that had not broken! It was also this way with Liliths heart. Even though it had broken when her Daddy died, her broken heart had become a source of her great strength and love. Another incredible thing happened when Lilith was 4. She and her Mommy flew across the world together to make a new life in Bali. She started school here at Madu’s Playhouse, and she met some of the best friends ever.
Now, she is 5, and her laughter lights up the world. Her big heart continues to grow and fill with Love as she shares it with others! I am so grateful to be her Mommy.
Terima Kasih to Bali, the Sprits that live here, and those who feed them. I am so grateful for the traditions held here on this special island. Deep gratitude to Madu’s Playhouse for holding the sweetest space for children that I have ever felt, for celebrating and honoring them in the ways that you do, and for the smile on my daughters face today. I am moved beyond words.