Lilith lost her favorite stuffy, Snuggles, yesterday. We went to the beach and she wanted to take her. I should have said no or made her put Snuggles in the boot of the bike at least, but she wanted to hold her. Somewhere along the way, Lilith dropped her. As soon as we noticed, I should have turned around and looked for her, but we convinced ourselves that maybe Lilith forgot her at home after…
Today it rained. And I prayed and cried and sweat and twisted from my body all the stagnant pieces of a story I hold precious. It’s a childs story. My child. The story of her making and highlights from each year of her life. It’s a bit comical, now after it’s telling, to see how much I fretted over getting this story right. After all, it was told to a group of 3-5 year olds.…
I started this blog without giving much thought to the URL. ‘Loss and Liberation’ felt right, so I went with it. It’s my mode of operation. I go with my gut. The original intention here was to process and NORMALIZE grief. I’ve been so saddened to learn how typical it is for people to suffer alone, to feel like the confusing process of rehoming the broken pieces of their lost Love is a burden they…
Hands down my favorite dessert of childhood. Every year for my half-birthday, my mom would make me one. She’s adorable like that. She would sing ‘Happy Half-Birthday’ and gift me a little trinket. Now, I do the same for my daughter. If you ask her, “When is your birthday?”, she will respond with a sharp, “August 14th and Love Day.” Love Day, aka Valentines Day, is her half-birthday and does not take a back-seat to…
I’m nervous. Just like all the self-help books and workshops told me I’d be. My belly is crawling and my mind is racing, but I have tools this time. I wake up before my daughter. I sit in silence. I reach out to friends. I move my body. I write. I am nervous, but I am also determined. This WILL go differently this time. It is my belief that if you build a boat from your…
I quickly grabbed our backpacks and ensured the first feet to touch shore were ours. I couldn’t get away from the boat fast enough. For 2.5 hours, our little boat zipped through the turbulent ocean, zig-zagging left to right to avoid the swells as skillfully as it could. The maybe-not-so-careful maneuvering techniques did nothing to stop half of the passengers from being sick or scared for their lives. The Balinese are famous for their ‘It’s-safe-until-it’s-not-safe’ carefree…
I woke up with a skip in my step. Before Lilith was awake I’d done yoga, meditated, and danced in my kitchen. All signs. I’m finally ready to share again. It happened. Exactly what I was hoping for. I fell in Love. Not with a man, but with my life. With me. With Lilith. With Bali. With all the New and fabulous things I’m learning and discovering and planning to create and offer to the world.…
A woman died yesterday. The whole village gathered to make offerings to the Gods, to deliver her to their arms and ease her transition into new life. I was greeted by her husband, who offered apologies for the noise of ceremony. I stood dumb-founded, assuring him how absolutely welcome it all was. He honored me with an invitation for coffee that I couldn’t refuse. I awkwardly brought rice cakes and marigolds… and you. My neighbor…
My eyes open to a dark morning here in my apartment. The end of night pronounced in unequivocal fervor by the neighborhood gang of roosters, followed with only a touch less passion by my longing for coffee. It is December. That knowing strikes a romantic chord in the chorus of my nostalgia. For a moment, I snuggle close to the darkness and wrap myself in the warmth of my blankets under the ever flowing a/c.…
I haven’t written in a while. To be honest, I haven’t written much in the last 4 years. I’m a writer. I’ve always been a writer, but I don’t create well under pressure. And the pressures of Motherhood are intense. Especially right now. “Especially right now?” You ask with a funny, sarcastic smirk on your face. Look, I know it might not seem like I’m under any pressure. Here I am in Bali, the island…