Hands down my favorite dessert of childhood. Every year for my half-birthday, my mom would make me one. She’s adorable like that. She would sing ‘Happy Half-Birthday’ and gift me a little trinket. Now, I do the same for my daughter. If you ask her, “When is your birthday?”, she will respond with a sharp, “August 14th and Love Day.” Love Day, aka Valentines Day, is her half-birthday and does not take a back-seat to…
I’m nervous. Just like all the self-help books and workshops told me I’d be. My belly is crawling and my mind is racing, but I have tools this time. I wake up before my daughter. I sit in silence. I reach out to friends. I move my body. I write. I am nervous, but I am also determined. This WILL go differently this time. It is my belief that if you build a boat from your…
I quickly grabbed our backpacks and ensured the first feet to touch shore were ours. I couldn’t get away from the boat fast enough. For 2.5 hours, our little boat zipped through the turbulent ocean, zig-zagging left to right to avoid the swells as skillfully as it could. The maybe-not-so-careful maneuvering techniques did nothing to stop half of the passengers from being sick or scared for their lives. The Balinese are famous for their ‘It’s-safe-until-it’s-not-safe’ carefree…
I woke up with a skip in my step. Before Lilith was awake I’d done yoga, meditated, and danced in my kitchen. All signs. I’m finally ready to share again. It happened. Exactly what I was hoping for. I fell in Love. Not with a man, but with my life. With me. With Lilith. With Bali. With all the New and fabulous things I’m learning and discovering and planning to create and offer to the world.…
A woman died yesterday. The whole village gathered to make offerings to the Gods, to deliver her to their arms and ease her transition into new life. I was greeted by her husband, who offered apologies for the noise of ceremony. I stood dumb-founded, assuring him how absolutely welcome it all was. He honored me with an invitation for coffee that I couldn’t refuse. I awkwardly brought rice cakes and marigolds… and you. My neighbor…
My eyes open to a dark morning here in my apartment. The end of night pronounced in unequivocal fervor by the neighborhood gang of roosters, followed with only a touch less passion by my longing for coffee. It is December. That knowing strikes a romantic chord in the chorus of my nostalgia. For a moment, I snuggle close to the darkness and wrap myself in the warmth of my blankets under the ever flowing a/c.…
I haven’t written in a while. To be honest, I haven’t written much in the last 4 years. I’m a writer. I’ve always been a writer, but I don’t create well under pressure. And the pressures of Motherhood are intense. Especially right now. “Especially right now?” You ask with a funny, sarcastic smirk on your face. Look, I know it might not seem like I’m under any pressure. Here I am in Bali, the island…
BALI Beautiful & challenging & lonely & kind & mysterious & rich with blessings locked inside intricately ornate boxes. I am being tested and teased and flooded with dreams begging me to remember that I am blessed. Nothing will kiss me until I remember this. All these riches lie at my feet, and I may have none until I remember that they all already belong to me. That is my seemingly impossible task after years…
This year, I get two birthdays. Today is my birthday on this side of the world, and tomorrow America will catch up. Last year, I ate cold leftover soup alone and cried myself to sleep. This year, there will be plumeria, cocktails, and candles. I will be tan, and Lilith will sing me Happy Birthday over gluten and dairy-free deliciousness as we watch the sun set into a warm ocean. A very full year of…
The tears come at the strangest time. Mr Incredible lies to Elastagirl about where he’s going. At airport security I flash to the last time we were at SFO… and waited for our ride that never came. I overhear someone mocking her own ‘daddy issues’. Lilith falls asleep, & I weep like I’d been desperately waiting for the opportunity behind my own back. My mind has been racing since May. I don’t often even notice…
